It has been said that people don't want to be SOLD, they want to buy. Years ago when I first started my career in Real Estate, I was interviewing different companies around Ann Arbor, and Saline, Mi. I was looking for the "right fit" for me. That meant "no cold calling", "no knocking on doors". Shortly after, when I started working with buyers, I discovered that wonderful little secret.
My little secret that has made my life fun (most of the time) is that my job was to just introduce people to the homes that matched their criteria and they would either "fall in love" with the right house or move on.
It completely takes the pressure off of me. There is nothing you can do to fall in love and there is not much you can do to stop it. The experts say that the first thing we fall in love with is the physical appearance of the other person, the way they walk or talk, their personality. It is a strong instinctive attraction. It is very physical, and often times we don't really know why at first.
Buying a house is often like that. You have been out showing homes all day, and found a couple of "possibilities". Which means they would work for them as far as the floor plan, location and price.
Then it happens, Mr. and or Ms Buyer walk in a home and bang it hits them over the head. This is it ! Excitement is all over their faces. Gone is the logic, of yes this will work, it is the right location, the right price. Sometime it is even higher than they wanted to go. But, they have "fallen in love". People buy with emotions and then justify the price.
Often the decision makes no sense to us, because we're not in love. In fact, logic many times goes out the window. Do you whip out a purchase agreement? Do you say, "Lets, go back to the office and write this house up, and get it under contract?"
This is not some new revelation, we have all experienced it with our buyers. The lights go on, their pulse increases. At this point, all logic goes out the window. Sometimes like in a relationship it is really not the right house for them. But, nothing will stop them. They have found their house and they are in love.
What have I learned over the years as I discovered this, "little secret".
1) One man's junk is another man's treasure. Many houses I have sold over the years, didn't appeal to me at all.
2) Keep my mouth shut about certain features that they may love and I would never live with.
3) Keep looking until the lights go on.
4) For my sellers, I encourage them to take every offer seriously, even a low ball offer. If they care enough to sit down and write an offer there is some emotion involved.
5) There are all kinds of people and tastes, and internally they know when they have found the "right house".
6) Unless there is some major requirement that is missing, don't try to talk them out of it. (like we need to be 10 minutes to the hospital). Then I would point it out, "this is over 10 minutes to the hospital, are you ok with it being 20 minutes)
7) That I am not a salesperson, but a match maker. In Jewish literature called a shadchan. 
This completely takes the pressure off of me. I love seeing the lights come on.
Yesterday I closed on 3 houses, two I would not have lived in. But, at the settlement everyone was happy. The sellers were thrilled that the buyers were in love with their former homes. The excitement was still there, the buyers couldn't wait to move in. Ahh.......all in a days play, opps work !!
Missy, this is a wonderful post, I gave you a 5 and recommended it be featured as I think you have spelled out exactly what real estate is all about and the emotions involved. I once made a decision to buy a property based on the beautiful sunset I saw from one of the bedroom windows (and I always thought I was a logical person, lol).
Yep. Just like in love, sometimes all logic disappears. That's where we come in as sales representatives. Since we still see things objectively, we are able to protect our clients where major issues with the property are concerned.
Jo
Missy, excellent way to express what we do for clients. I to gave it 5 stars and recommended it to be featured. Excellent way of looking at what we do. There are some agents who say to their buyers, "Today we are going to look at five houses, and you are going to buy one of them."
Wow, talk about pressure! I would never do that to my clients. This is probably their most important and costly investment, and I'm not going to force them to buy something or try to force them to buy something they're not 200% gung ho over. Just not my style!
Margaret, thanks
Lorenda, it makes being a realtor so easy when we take the pressure off ourselves.
Neal, yes and love is different to everyone. Like your rental yesterday.
Jo-Anne, ha, that is a perfect example of what I am talking about.
Karen, yes I have heard of that. It might happen if the agent really listens, but if not keep looking. The lights will go off. But, for the buyer to feel that pressure is ridiculous.
Missy,
Great post! I love your analogy, so very true!
I love your pot, great and so true.
The part I like best is when they "fall in love" they do not realize it and they start to tell you all the things that are so great about the house, non of them are on their priority list. . . .
I love real estate
Missy, my philosophy is the same as yours. I don't sell homes, I help people purchase homes that are right for them. My role is as an experienced and caring consultant.
On certain occasions, homes have "spoken" to me. Most of them weren't for sale, but I would have loved to live in them.
Tony, a good one !
Suzanne, thanks for the comment.
Anne, isn't that the truth. How many homes have we sold that are things they didn't tell us about when we started the searches. I had one where the people wanted a lot of land. They bought in a city sub and have been there 8 years ! Great huh ?
Missy,
I hope the comment I'm about to make doesn't unleash a firestorm of indignation or claims of discrimination. But here goes . . . .!
I think your post may explain why so many women are more succesful at this business than men. Women are NOT any smarter than men. Men are just more logical. Women seem to have a sixth "emotional" sense, that men frequently ignore, can't bring up, or don't notice. Most people (except for investors) buy with their emotions and NOT their logic every time.
NOT MEANT TO OFFEND any Male Agents.
Christina, well I have 5 teens and or pre-adults so I get to watch people fall in and out of love ALL the time. Tee hee, I know what you mean.
Judy, your right investments are totally logical. Either the numbers work or they don't. Maybe that's why I like residential instead of commercial.
Joan, yes it is always necessary to refocus.
Debbie, well I don't know about a firestorm but I think your right. Let's hear what the men say. We each have our strengths and weaknesses.
So true about men and not to be negative in any way, we are just different animals. I notice the difference all the time. What I do is see which one is the decision maker and either ware my logical hat or my emotional hat. Its good to always have both with you.
Missy.... this was excellent. It was probably one of the better posts that I have seen you written, Great analogy and worth 2 5's, not including being flagged which I am flagging this for a feature.
And in regards to Debbie's comment... I will mostly agree with that. It's a very good statement and one that I can live with. So, show me the love Missy. ;o)
wow - this has some great thoughts and will help make me a better REALTOR®
Missy,
This is a really great post and so true. I love seeing buyers get excited when they find "the" one! Sometimes it takes 20 or 30 houses and sometimes just a few but when they find the right one it is a great feeling.
Missy what a catchy phrase. Not a sales person a matchmaker. What a creative way with words. I'd coin that phrase. Thanks for your great blog read
Hi Missy!
You know...my old company bio said I was like a "match maker" because you don't have to sell anything to someone who comes to you looking to buy. You just have to make the match, right? I love it! Good subject. You know...this market must be a "man" market if you think of it in match making terms...the women always outnumber the men, so the men have to be sharp if they want to get "picked". Homes in this market should show as presentably as possible so they'll get "picked up" soon!
Missy: Loved this post. Now I know why we in the title business who do all the grunt work to keep these transactions together and make them a pleasant experience for everyone don't have a lot of fun. You have stolen all the fun from us:^)
Fran
I had a lovely family buy a home from me some years ago. They looked and looked for three solid days. finally, they walked in one and "fell in love".
The husband said: "Lenn. I know your secret. You just keep showing us homes until we find the one we feel good about".
In a way, he was right.
Great post, I like your approach.
Oh my gosh, we lost all our power all day yesterday. My computer was fried as well as the ref, washer, hot water heater, bose sound system, my TV in my bedroom and one other, the AC, the furnace, the water cooler. YIKEES!!!!!!!!
So I came into the office to check email and open faxes and so many comments !!! Thank you, thank you !!
Ever hear the expression when it rains it pours ?? Of course you have, we'll that is my life right now. But, it is so encouraging when I get the GOOD RAIN from all my active(rain) friends here.
I will respond to each comment later, because there is come great ones here !!!!
Great post! This is why I hate being called a "salesperson." You can sell someone a computer that doesn't suit their needs or a car that's overpriced and out of their range. However, it's nearly impossible to sell someone a house that doesn't suit their needs, appeal to them, is overpriced or out of their range.
That's exactly why HOME STAGING WORKS SO WELL!
People shop with logic but they buy on emotion.
A stager's job is to romance prospective buyers from the curb right down to the electrical panel and everything in between. We set the stage for buyers to fall in love with a home and if the staging is done well, no one should realize the home is staged at all. In other words proper staging doesn't include contrived scenes like a tea tray on the end of a bed, but that's a whole other subject!
I had a buyer who was "looking for a home she could fall in love with" - and it was hard work to find it!
Unfortunatly she could not really explain what the house needed to have, so she could fall in love with it.
But finally we made it. I couldn´t tell you what did set this home apart from all the others, but that´s just personal feeling.
The 'house' is only a house, a part of a real estate transaction, until the loan funds. Then it becomes a home.
I know that when we walked into our current home after a long day of looking at houses, we knew on the spot that we were in love.
Missy - How dare you make selling Real Estate sound so honest and simple!!! LOL!! :-)
We have loved every home we ever purchsed or lived in! They weren't houses, they were homes. Well, your little secret is out now and I hope all the buyers in your area get to read this post. You are the kind of agent EVERY buyer is looking for! :-)
Hey Missy,
Loved you analogy on this one and I couldn't agree with you more. Debra's comment about adding romance is perfect!
Hi Missy,
You are absolutely correct, people fall in love fast! I remember my first house, never saw the upstairs until the offer was accepted a week later. At that time all I cared about was a fireplace and hardwood floors. Funny how all the psychiatrists are right about first impressions, when it just doesn't make sense when you read or hear about it.
Dick Beals
Missy - Thank you for this post. You very eloquently expressed why I love working with Buyers (most of the time) and why it is so exciting to find that "perfect home" for them. Great job.
Anne Farmer
We're not real estate agents! We don't force people to buy homes they don't want. We're match makers!
Wonderful post! Five stars!
Excellent advice, Missy. We need to make sure we don't try to talk people out of their new found love. As long as they don't tell the sellers how much they LOVE the house before the offer is negotiated, all is well. Thanks for sharing a good reminder.
Jeff
Hi Missy - I love this post! Love all the points you made. I tell buyers that they'll know inside when it's the right house, and that no matter what is said by the listing agent during the showing, they'll just know it, and they always do. Emotions and feelings rule residential real estate!
Ann
Great blog. It answered so many questions for me.
In the last three years I have gained 30 pounds. I have also bought and lived in five different homes in three states. I loved them all even if for different reasons. This has to explain why I gained so much weight. I am just so full of love.
Others may think I am full of something else but your love philosophy works for me. Thank you so much.
Teresa, I think it is the old 80/20 rule with men and women buying houses. Locally the men don't come until the last 3 are picked out. It is different with relocating people they come in together and work together.
Jeff, you are so kind. Thanks for the compliment. My computer fried in a power outage, waiting on parts from Dell. So I am on an old one without the data base. I'll return the love when I am up and running.
Thesa, thanks but your already a great realtor in Oregon.
Mana, you just proved the point !!!!!!!!!!!
Paula, exactly how Mike and I have bought every house. We looked at each other and just knew.
Marchel, same thing happened to me once with mauve carpet. That's how I learned this many years ago too.
Chris, I'm sure your clients agreed or you wouldn't have spoken up so boldly. Once you know them and their styles it is easy to be more forthright.
Rita, love those light bulbs !!!
Debbie, just happened to me. A VERY unique home but THEY loved it !!
Diane, :)
Leah, thanks for the comment. I tell my new construction buyers they will have a love affair with their builder, then at some point in the process hate him. Ultimately, they will settle down and all the bad memories will go away.
Lania, I agree with you. I think it is the right brain thing.
Fran, we couldn't do it without you all. A good title processor is of utmost importance. The realtors love you all, even if the public doesn't get to interact with you all the most.
Lenn, what a wonderful thing to say...and it is true. You got it.
Patricia, The Pheromone Factor, I will check it out. Can't wait to see it, did I just prove the point ?
Bob, ha, ha !! That's when silence is a virture.
Gerry, wow, I hadn't thought of that !! Great point and I will pass it on to my TEAM.
Joe, convincing people to buy a house is NOT what I even try to do.
Debra Gould, one of my closest friends is named Debi Gould. Yes, I love your comments about staging setting the stage to fall in love.
Axel, sometimes feelings are hard to explain. But, you found her one she loved.
Diane, yes she was smart. Probably just a personality conflict. It happens.
Denise, thanks that is cool. I appreciate it.
Cyndee, yep that's the song. Thanks
Tom, same things happens to Mike and I on every home we have ever bought.
Kelly, glad you loved every word.
Brad, thanks you are so kind !!!
Chris :)
Brea, I loved her comment too.
Dick and Sandy, just like love, we overlook lots of things like the upstairs and faults when we are in love.
Kelly, I have heard that some people do that. I usually just set up my tours for driving and location convenience, but that is a good idea.
John, you are so right, it is all over their faces. If people would just look.
Stephanie, I look for it too. Not hard to find.
Anne, your right this is what makes buyer's fun too work for. Sellers get excited when the offer is a good one.
Laura and Linda, let's hope more Realtors do read it. It was picked up on google twice. I hate the hard sell too.
Lee, happens ALL the time, doesn't it.
Kay, thank you !!
Heather, yes it is exciting, then comes the inspections ! ha ha
Jeff, great point. I never tell the listing agent they love the house ! Until we are done !!
Irene, I like your comment, turn it back on them.
Cathy, ditto girl !!
Ryan and Charles, thanks very much. Go be match makers.
Ann, our emotions rule every big purchase. Thanks for your kind words.
Randy, well I may be dumb but what has gaining weight got to do with being in love. I thought the butterflies in your tummy made you not hungry. Your too funny.
Sonja, love your comments. I guess there is !!!
Jeff, you got it !!
Well I hope I havent' forgot to thank everyone for commenting. I think most of you that work with Buyers and Home Stagers really get it. Go go make some matches this weekend.
Missy,
Nice post -- we cringe when we even hear "sales" agent and I certainly can't stand scripts or sales techniques when somebody in another business uses them.
Hi Missy, sorry I missed this one before it got featured... Congrats!
I love your take on people finding homes they like. And keeping your mouth shut is a good idea if you see something you don't like, as they may love it. I once showed a house with purple carpet, and I referred to it as "the purple carpet house" until he told it was at the top of his list. Then I realized I needed to shut up!
Kathy, yes that is why staging is so important for vacant houses.
JF.SEllsius. Oh.....your so sweet, must have been Elvis ??
Missy,
Thanks for the post. I like the analogy. You remember the feeling you had when you saw the house you wanted to make your home? Love at first sight.
Gail, how sad, but a lesson learned as well. WE all learn things unfortunatley through mistakes and at least you can see it.
Adam, cool !
Ashley, I hadn't thought about that movie, but your right that fits perfectly.
Sharon, thanks for your comment. I love that word. I loved Fiddler on the Roof and should have used a picture of that. It would have fit perfectly.
Mary Ann, wow thanks !
Fran, WOW, as a listing agent I order all the pre-committment title for my houses. Very few split closing are here. Some, but not many.
Very true!
A buyer who falls in love with a house is an illogical buyer who will pay more than they would have for the house; which could be alot of money in a cheap credit environment.
Illogical buyer + cheap credit = overpriced real estate
overpriced real estate - cheap credit = price crash
http://www.longislandbubble.com
Missy, I follow the same premise! It in their eyes, and all of a sudden, they relate to that house differently from the rest. Usually, they start talking about furniture, and double checking room layouts, etc.
I also keep my mouth shut about what I don't like about the home. The house is not for me, after all.
I ask about discrepacies, too, when they choose a home that didn't quite match what they wanted. "You mentioned four bedrooms initially. Is three bedrooms something you'll be ok with in the long run? What about that home office you wanted?"
I happen to think nearly all purchasing decisions are emotional decisions. I think people have the need to justify them rationally, for the numbers to work out, etc, but for a "logical" buyer to pan out devoid of emotion is something I've seen very little of. LongIslandBubble said that:
"Illogical buyer + cheap credit = overpriced real estate"
I disagree. I think this is an inaccurate reduction of causes. I think plenty of "logical" buyers who believed they bought unemotionally contributed to the "bubble"...
You can't separate emotion from the human being any more than you can separate biology from a human being. You can suppress emotion, or deny it and not give it a voice, but it is there, within every person, whether they are listening to it or not. Emotion acknowledged and above board can be worked with for the greater end. Emotion suppressed or denied can run a muck, it will still influence, while we've decieved ourselves into thinking we're as logical as Spock.
Sara, I totally agree they buy emotionally and justify rationally. Don't we all, when we see that nice Coach purse ? I can use it for years. ha,
Thank God, we can't separate emotions from the rest of our being, it would be a boring existence.
Appreciate your comments and stopping by.
Missy, great post!
I liked the comments:
"5) There are all kinds of people and tastes, and internally they know when they have found the "right house".
7) That I am not a salesperson, but a match maker. In Jewish literature called a shadchan.
This completely takes the pressure off of me. I love seeing the lights come on."
Well put! I still find it important to move the emotional approach into a due diligence approach when touring buyers through the numerous homes they have to choose from these days. I find the best solution is utilizing a rating system and walk through checklist for a couple that determines what home best meets the buyers needs together. This way you become as your little photo says a "Match Maker-Match Maker.
Thanks for the great reading!
As a Professional Home Stager, it is absolutely true that a person must bond with a house and be able to see themselves living there ~joyfully~ before they'll make an offer. However.... I have to say that there IS a fine art to selling! To me, selling does not mean 'pushing', it means guiding the homeowner/whomever as THEY make their decision. We guide them by providing the product, the product information, and all the supporting facets of the product that they may or may not have thought of. This is what selling is to me and it is an important component of the buying process!
I like your philosophy, Missy!
Gary, true.
Linda, we buy with emotions and justify the price, that's why staging is so important.